Career / Christianity / daughter / mother / spiritual journey / wife / Women / writing

Praying and Pondering Change

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Three years ago I came home…literally home. I had always worked outside of my home and my career was very important to me. At the time I was leading ministry to children and families in my church as a full-time staff member. While I felt called to this ministry and loved working with the children and families at St. Michael’s, I began to feel that the Lord was ready for me to go home to minister to my family–my teenage daughter, aging mother and my husband who had recently started a private medical practice. I prayed about and pondered this change for several months when I finally felt the Lord speak to my heart, “Now.”

The first month was restorative. I began to feel reinvigorated. I tried to create a rhythm to my days. I had time to reorganize long-neglected areas of my house, enjoyed planning and fixing meals for my family, looked forward to the twice-daily trips downtown to my daughter’s school for carpool, assisted my husband in his new practice and caught up with friends over long lunches and frequent coffees. We even made the leap to enlarge our family. We brought home two English springer spaniel puppies (litter mates)–but that is a story for another time.

I wish I could say that things continued this way for the the next three years but in realty things began to get a bit bumpy by month three. Apparently I was not as self-disciplined as I thought and the organizational skills others had so admired in my work situations did not translate to my home environment. At first I tried to blame everything on the puppies and the constant attention and training they required (it did feel very much like caring for a toddler). It wasn’t until I had volunteered for everything I could and tried to take over every committee meeting I attended that I realized it wasn’t about the dogs. Being at home full time was killing me!

Looking back I can see so many reasons why the Lord led me back home for this season and I am so grateful. My family experienced some very difficult and heartbreaking challenges and I can’t imagine how we would have gotten through it all if I had been working full time and focused on other things. I can also see that He was allowing me a Sabbath of sorts–an opportunity to slow down, engage, focus and breath.

My daughter began driving several months ago and while I enjoy sleeping a bit longer in the morning, I miss the time we had every day going to and from school. The puppies are now three and while not as needy as they once were, they are a bit wild (so much for my dog training abilities). My mother’s health has improved considerably and is as independent as she was over a decade ago. My husband’s practice is full and going well but he is only needs my help in the office two days a week.

So…I am praying and pondering change…again. What does this next season of life look like? What plans does the Lord have for me? What doors are opening and which ones are being closed? I am praying for patience and clarity, courage and obedience. And in the meantime I will write about this process. Join me in this journey. Share your own experiences. Offer suggestions. Pray for me and allow me the honor of praying for you.

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6 thoughts on “Praying and Pondering Change

  1. We really must re-connect…my dear friend. I miss you. I want to share in your journey and need you to be a part of mine. Lets talk very soon.

    • Absolutely! I think about you so often. Those 30 miles between us might as well be 300! I will email you some possibilities for a visit. Much to catch up on.

  2. Obviously when I “liked” what was in the Newsfeed I hadn’t actually read the post. I was liking that you were praying and pondering change. I am so glad to realize this is YOuR writing and look forward, very much, to following your journey and praying with you! XO

  3. you were right, your post is a testament to what we all are thinking…will it work out, waiting on the lord is sometimes very hard, but I am praying that I can hear what is being conveyed. Thank you for sharing.
    a new fan,
    Lisa J.

  4. Amy – I started reading your blog early this morning and I feel as I have been captured by your writing, your experiences, and your faith.

    You have certainly caught the attention of an old acquaintance/friend and a new faithful reader.

    Thank you for sharing your life. You have encouraged me to continue to share my own in another venue.

    Kim Gray McKay

    • Thank you so much for this sweet note, Kim. I started this blog because I really felt God was calling me to do this but I have to admit that I sometimes wonder if maybe I misinterpreted this calling. Thank you for the encouragement.

      It is great to reconnect with you. I look forward to hearing more of your story!

      God’s peace and blessings,
      Amy

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